My Dossier

The Last Day of January

2009-01-31T13:31:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's the last day of the first month in 2009. Where did the time go?

It is gorgeous outside, even more so, since my neighbor has finally decided to trim his trees. I can see my other neighbors houses now and sunshine pours into my family room. No more lamps for awhile during the day time! Thank you, kind neighbor.

I'm excited for this weekend. Missy and I will probably go see "Marley and Me", since she is a bit under the weather again. That old yucky flu has captured her again within 2 weeks. She thought she beat it before but it grabbed her with a vengeance the second time around on Wednesday night. Her spirits are much better and I hate to have her cooped up for 4 days. We'll take the risk; a movie is pretty light weight stuff.

From there, the Wack (my new Mrs.) and I will be going to a new friend's house for dinner in the LBC. Actually, the Wack has been friends with him for several years, but I have recently made acquaintance with him. His invitation for dinner was so original, a minute and half video of him cooking on Facebook. I couldn't turn down that offer. He's already sent a message that the appetizer and desserts are complete. I like his style.

Since I'm no longer a football widow, I'll be enjoying the sunshine, salsa dancing at the Promenade with a few hundred of my closest salseros, tomorrow! And to end the evening, heading to a concert to listen to a musician from Ethiopia playing jazz with an Afro Cuban vibe.

As a recap for the month, I can't forget attending the grand opening of salsa at the Havana House. My dee jay buddy is doing great things to bring a little salsa to the folks on Monday nights. Thanks to Ms. G for carpooling with me to listen to the Latin Giants of Jazz at the Mayan on January 15th. It was an amazing night of Latin Jazz and salsa dancing. From that event, I met the beautiful Colombian who has made my heart sing again. Walking down Colorado Blvd will have a special place in my heart now; this will be a great journey. Ah, SC and our crazy middle of the night antics, including barely escaping the fight at Steven's Steakhouse and the funny "bicyclist" at TGIF...I'm still laughing. Thank you for wearing the pink "I LUV U Mom" shirt. You are a trooper! I can't forget the grand opening of La Terraza with Lucky 7 as the opening band, splendid.

Well I better stop talking and get to doing......

Cohiba's Grand Reopening

2009-01-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

The doctor gave me different meds so I attended the reopening of Cohiba's in Long Beach with my good friend, Li'l Pony. It was on a Wednesday night so I didn't know what to expect. Cohiba's has been closed for salsa for a few months and tried various styles of dance including Reggae. I guess it never got off the ground. So Salsa czar, Albert Torres is taking a stab at bringing Cohiba's back to its glory days.

Approaching the door, we saw people leaving which is never a good sign. But we soon realized they were "looky Lous". However, there weren't that many dancers, but some of my favorites were and it made for a fantastic evening. It was one of the few times that I got floor space with some of LA's premium dancers.

So thanks Albert for taking Cohiba's under your wing and hope the dancers will come back.

6th Day of January & I'm Sick!

2009-01-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

After a fabulous vacation during the last days of 2008, I returned to my first working day in 2009 yesterday. The day was good. I thought I would be hammered with calls, but it was an average day. I came home, had a little dinner, answered a few emails; life was good. That is until 3:30 a.m. when I opened my eyes, well one eye, the other was crusted over... NOOOOOOO! My sinus infection has started to attack other parts of me. So now, the 6th day of the year, I'm battling illness. I hate, hate, hate being sick. I want to spend my days off traveling or visiting friends. I guess I shouldn't complain; it's been a while since I had the "Ickness". How much "talk television" can I endure?

Farewell Sportsmen's Lodge

2008-12-28T14:54:00.000-08:00

Friday night was the final farewell for Sportsmen's Lodge in Studio City. Sadly enough, I had only been there a time before in November. Although it's a ballroom in a hotel, the atmosphere was pure sabor! Many traveled far to come to this event, the ballroom was filled to capacity. With that, I saw a few faces from the past that I hadn't seen in over a year.

Johnny Polanco and Angel Lebron played their sets and the finale was both bands, at least 30 musicians on stage for the last hooray! Salseros danced for at least 10 minutes and then....it was over. Hugs and kisses for everyone. We put on our coats and made a single file line to get our cars from the valet. It was, indeed, a night to remember.

Thanks for the memories, Sportsmen's!

And One More Thing....

2008-12-25T22:01:00.000-08:00

I received a very early morning text around 6 a.m. after just falling asleep at 4ish a.m. from....THE SANDWICH GUY! Ah yes, he strikes again!

Merry Christmas!

Merry, Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T21:31:00.000-08:00

Greetings to one and all as I sit in front of my fireplace, reflecting that I made it to December 25. Count them 9 holiday parties in less than 30 days. My favorite was the unplanned Christmas Eve tamale party I snagged an invite. I "never" ate so many tamales or drank so many margaritas with shots in one holiday. Wait I forgot about Cinco de Mayo, but I digress....

I made a new friend about 10 days ago and as fast budding friendships go, this is moving with "mucho sabor"! Since the inception, he and I have been inseparable all week. We met for lunch on Sunday which turned into "linner" as the time leapt from 2 to 7:30 p.m. Heck, why end it there, let's go dance in LA...and off we went ending our evening at 1:30 a.m. Monday was his birthday, so that's another excuse to bond. Our destination another salsa club in the area of course. Tuesday alluded us because of the blistering SoCal weather...yeah, it rained! But then came Christmas Eve, his invite gave me the tamales and the awesome 30 new compadres I made.

Sitting around the table swapping stories and tequila, I thought about had my previous family had embraced me like this, maybe I won't be single now. Ah but maybe it's good they didn't for I would not have these awesome experiences now.

So with that said, this was a December to remember with just a few more days to spare before we usher in 2009. I wonder if I can squeeze in one more party before.....

Raining in SoCal

2008-12-15T12:17:00.001-08:00

What, is it possible? There's rain....yippy! But my dog doesn't like it so much. Sorry "Q".

Dancing til Dawn, Well Almost...

2008-12-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

Recovering from another amazing night of dancing. This was a big night, celebrating promoter Rudy's birthday at our hot spot in South County. Three of everything, dee jays, salsa performances and bands, he went all out. Many traveled for this event. He even expanded the closing time to 2:30 a.m., unheard of in the OC. I did not get a chance to dance with the birthday boy, there were too many "salseras" this night. But I got a moment with my "two amigas" to celebrate him. Rudy is always gracious and humble, that's why we go there week after week.

However the absolute highlight of my evening was dancing with renowned salsero, Edwin Rivera. I saw him throughout the evening passing out flyers for an upcoming event this weekend. Sporting oversized sunglasses, it never occurred to me that he was, well "famous". I didn't hesitate to say yes, when he extended his hand to ask for a dance. I should have known, his style was impeccably smooth and unique. It was an amazing 7 1/2 minutes, thanks to band #2's improvisation of a song. I hugged and kissed his cheek as do with all of my dance partners and thanked him for the dance.

It was the Denny's debriefing that one of the "LA" salseros told me who he was. Wow! It's a dance I surely won't forget anytime soon.

Winter Is Nearing....

2008-12-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

The weather is changing this week. For the first time, I pulled out my cape and gloves because it was chilly! Brrr... Believe it or not, Southern California does have seasons, they're just subtle. Sure it can be 75 degrees during the day, but it gets a brisk 50 degrees by midnight, I love that. Thinking of breaking out the flannel sheets this weekend. I even have the fireplace on to warm my toes. Hot chocolate anyone?

Yeah...Another Sandwich Guy Moment

2008-12-07T17:32:00.000-08:00

After recapping with Mystery @ 2:30 a.m. about our evening, I settled in for an evening nap. My cell phone jingled that I had a picture mail. Hhmm, interesting....I knew it wasn't from Mystery or any other of my compadres. I didn't recognized the number at first, but I should have. The message simply stated information about his work and a picture. The words of course, in CAPITAL LETTERS.

I called Mystery back immediately. When is this guy going to stop? Isn't my silence enough? I'm not completely sure if the message was for me, but it did reference a conversation we had in February. What shall I do? I've ignored him thus far, but, like Mystery recommended, if he continues, I'll have to put a stop to it.

Sandwich Guy, I'm not going to change my mind.....

The Weekend

2008-12-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

I went to a birthday party last night @ one my favorite salsa clubs. Funny, I as well as the other guests, arrived before the guest of honor and his girlfriend. This is never a good sign. He showed up about 20 minutes after I did, carrying his own birthday cake; I never did see his girl arrive but I spotted her a few minutes later. The party guests were split among the club so it was not a cohesive party. The cake was cut very late in the evening and there weren't many takers. People don't get it, cake is not the favorite choice at salsa clubs. Cookies, brownies, cupcakes that is easier to manage. They didn't play the birthday song until 1:15 a.m.; Li'l Pony and I were already at our cars as we dashed back for our dance.

Today, I went to an open house that my realtors were hosting. I haven't seen them, the dynamic trio in almost 5 years. It was certainly a nice moment as they each greeted me. Admittedly, I've changed, new hairstyle and appearance, but I guess my smile hasn't. I thought I would stump them by not putting on my "Hi, my name is..." Christmas badge. I didn't have to, they knew me as I recognized, they haven't changed much either.

During the reign of terror 2004, I learned a lot about the real estate business. Times were definitely different then from now. For every one home, there at least 10 buyers with cash burning in their pockets. Heck, I asked my former spouse not to get into the market so I had one less buyer to compete with. Searching, I looked at least 100 homes in 4 months, and made offers on at least a dozen; heartbroken when out maneuvered by $5k. However, in spite of the hustle/bustle of that time, I made real connections with these ladies. Sipping mimosas, I gave them the list of "demands" that I want for my final home, to be purchased within the next 6 to 8 years. "No problem!" each said, willing to make it happen for me. Sheila said it was a joy to work with me and that I was "special"; I feel the same about the dynamic trio.

28 years and counting....

2008-12-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

Last weekend after surviving food coma, I had a wonderful lunch with my friend from high school. We meet at least once a year to catch up with the previous year's events. I drive to LBC to her house and we go over to the end of Pine Street and have lunch. We dined at Gladstone's one of my favorites, overlooking the Queen Mary. Our server was really cool too, sharing interesting tidbits from San Diego. I know it's random, but if you know me, people tell me things about themselves all the time.

After settling into our booth, ordering cocktails and brunch, we settled in for a long afternoon of conversation and laughter. Who knew that when we met 28 years ago among all the other freshmen meeting at Pius X that we would remain friends. We shared a lot experiences then, creating our own clique the "Palos Verdes group" not wanted to fit in with the others on campus, running the government our last 2 years as well as our yearbook. Our catch phrase..."Deadlines are for now, Tiara is forever!" We still laugh about it. Sharing dessert, we talked about our hopes and dreams for our future and what the world will be like for us.

We went to college, she UC Davis and me Chapman College, visiting each other every Christmas. I got married and had a child, she went on her path of becoming a teacher and an administrator. There were some lost years of not visiting, but we traded Christmas and birthday cards in the interim.

Losing my way during most of those years and now coming back strong & confident, it's comforting to have someone validate they knew you when. As I reminisced with her and shared my journey, she said to me with those blue eyes and Dentine smile, "P, you may have lost your way, but you never really lost..you! I know who you are!" I realized that now matter how many masks you wear during the course of you life, there are a few people who know the real...YOU!! You cant' hide from them.

The time went quickly, walking around the board walk, going back to her house, reviewing pictures from her Paris trip. She gave me a few books to read for the next year. I'll see her in a few weeks for dinner and when she meets Missy.

Giving her a big hug, then driving into the fog, I smiled just thinking about our next 28 years together.

The Return of the Sandwich Guy

2008-12-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

I received a text message from..the Sandwich Guy. It was a simple message, "Was thinking of you today. Hope all is well with you". I looked at the message for a moment and thought, "Whoa, after 6 months of no contact from me, he still kept my number". At first, I was a little miffed that he would contact me after so many months. But then I thought, it's nice to know that there is someone out there that is thinking about you. I dismissed the "creepy" factor and just enjoyed that moment.

Thanks, Sandwich Guy for thinking of me.

The Time for Change Begins....

2008-12-06T01:41:00.000-08:00

Obama is President Elect. Hillary is to be sworn is as Secretary of State. And now Caroline Kennedy is interested in the Senate seat for New York. A change is coming fast and fierce. What will happen next?

33 years

2008-12-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

OJ was convicted today. There is something strangely funny about this whole thing. 1994 most of the country were glued to their televisions watching that infamous chase and then the trial of all trials! The world was split did he actually commit the crimes, the jury didn't think so. And then there was the civil trial where those jurors had the task to find him guilt; they weren't fooled by him. From there he was stripped of his worldly possessions, namely that house and try to live a quiet life. No more Hertz rental cars ads or "Naked Gun" movies.

Ah but he wrote the book, which I saw a copy of not long ago. I didn't bother reading any of it; I already think he did it. Hey this guy has a great sense of humor.

I wonder as he heard the verdict today did he think he would get away with it again. One's luck typically runs out evidently. I truly believe that he was trying to get his stuff back that he thought was stolen in the first place. But what he doesn't realize that he lost a civil suit and he's not allow to have any stuff.

There is speculation that there may be another trial. Can't our tax money go to something else? '

Admit dude, your luck has finally run out. Like the Barretta theme song says, "don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Don't do it". Ah, sing it Sammy.

Made It Thru

2008-11-23T20:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I didn't know what this weekend was going to be like, whether I was going to be happy, sad, remorseful or bitter. Thankfully, I'm none of those things. I can't believe a year has past since the "breakup". To commemorate the occasion, I read a journal entry of that awful day. I can see the pain and heartache in the writing, me not wanting to let go of a perfectly strange relationship. But I can say, it's been a year and at least, I'm no longer wishing to be back with him.

It was a long journey, but after this past September I realized there were circumstances bigger than me or the relationship that it just wasn't going to work. I haven't seen him since May 8th in which I may say he didn't look so good. But after hearing that he spends most of his late evenings in several local bars, I now know, it's more than just the "trivia" things that got him down.

As for me, I spent the weekend with family and friends. Missy and I were one of the many who gave cash to the movie, "Twilight". Who knew vampires can look so good. The makers definitely left 'tweens thirsting for the sequel. I can imagine they will make all 4 books into movies. As long as the vampires look good, I'll fork over some of my salsa money to watch it. Ahh...to be 13 again, not!

Yesterday, Missy and I went to our young friend's 10th birthday party in the foothills. It was nice to see my extended family who live so far away in the IE. We got to catch up, which is always good and of course talk salsa! The food was great..thanks, Mom! And thanks to Mystery for the invite.

Yep, it's been a year and I'll discuss what it the "up side" has been like. But let's just relish in the moment that I got past one of the most painful periods of my life. Thanks Lost Boy, you didn't break me. And to all of those who held my hand during the darkest of days, you know who you are, THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU!

I'm Back!!

2008-11-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

Well it seems I took a very long break from writing, but I wasn't really inspired to say anything. The summer was full of surprises so I concentrated on the events, not really documenting anything in particular.

The past weekend was filled with mayhew as 4 counties were set ablaze. I've lived in the OC for more than 20 years and I don't think I have been faced with perilous times as I have in the last 1 1/2 years. When I purchased this home over 4 years ago, I never thought about fires but not as I get older I think about do I want to stay in this remotely beautiful area of Orange County. It's calm most of the year, except for when a Santa Ana begins to blow and I hear my neighbor's ficus trees scrape against my bedroom window. Oops, I forgot to take down the wind chime! As I hear sirens race up the streets, I brace myself and hope not hear that awful sound waking me in the dead of night....it's time to move, now!!!

Thank you to the the higher power for keeping me, my family and my friends safe from harm's way. I'm sure I'll be calling on you again, soon!

Am I in Kansas?

2008-05-26T21:33:00.001-07:00

A difficult weekend this one was; I wonder did it have anything to do with the dramatic weather conditions. The week before, Monday, was raining, by the weekend, it was 98 degrees and now it's cloudy and tornadoes. I don't live in Kansas, do I?

I danced in my favorite place, saw my favorite security guards, paid a small cover charge...life was good. But the people that night were weird, let me say, more weird than ususal. Strange behavior, indeed. I was told once again, that someone, a male was afraid of me (if I had $1k bucks for everytime, I heard that one). I was left on the dance floor but a bald mutha ucker, who somehow thought it was funny. The older creepy guy sat in the corner, eyes fixated on me until he went home. Did I mentioned there was a full moon in the same week too?

Maybe it's time to hang up the ol' dancing shoes for awhile at least until these folks get a grip on life again. What am I thinking? Give it up because of one strange night?

I shall think of Mystery's words of wisdom when things are not always going my way. F 'em!

The weekend wasn't a total loss. I broke bread with good friends, shared tales, some funny, some not so much. And I even baked with Missy, the shock of shocks while watching a show about "beach weddings". Yeah, I'm still disillusioned about life, relationships and marriage, but for brief moments, I saw a glimmer of hope for the future.

Don't Make Me Do It..But It's Good For You!

2008-05-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

Well, some of my friends have been encouraging me to embark the world of internet dating. I've been kicking and screaming the whole time, without any "real" objections. Sure I meet tons of people everyday, but I haven't really dated since "him".

A few weeks ago, I received a "cryptic" text message from a dating website. I called my partner in crime, paralysed by fear, not knowing how to take this sign. Without hesitation, she created an email account, separate from my own, a screen name along with a picture formed, and voile, my new identity was born. (Sidenote: how many identities can 1 person have in cyberworld?) For sure, the website is a bit cheesy, asking for $16.33 per month for their service. I had my reservations, but almost immediately, my photo commanded various looks from some "interesting" people. But what I don't like about this site is to send a "cupid alert" or an email is ok, but the request for money is prominent. And from what I can tell, the "gentleman" have not shelled any money out of their pockets either. A cat and mouse game indeed.

However, this led me to take on the industry leader of dating websites a few days later. Once again, my partner in crime sat beside me, as my hands froze in fear trying to think of clever things to say about myself without sounding desperate or needy. It wasn't easy, not because I'm either of those things, I'm not a great proponent of selling one's self. I came up with something, but I'm not sure if it reads I want a "partner for life". Over 3 weeks, however, I have been review over 130 times, which I don't know if that's impressive or not. But what I have noticed is within the previews of said profile, no one has initiated to "wink" or "send an email". It just like real life, the guy doesn't want to make the first move for fear of....rejection. So as of today, I've sent 2 winks and an email, receiving at least one response. That's encouraging. My next step, since I have nothing to lose, throw caution to the wind and wink at as many fellas that I deemed worthy, based on picture and profile. I'm not sure if that's the "professional" way to do it, but like life, it's not going to be handed to you.

Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted!

Why U Should Stay Home on a Friday Night

2008-05-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

So Mystery told me a story about his friend's Friday night. Boots had an invitation to dance with some mutual friends. They met at a local restaurant, primarily to leave cars and commute to their destination. One of the friends in common didn't show up, no phone call, nada! So that left Boots with acquaintance A and the new folks, Boy A and Girl A. Girl A states she has to eat before heading north, some kind of eating disorder. If she doesn't eat, she'll pass out. Umm, ok! Well she did eat and passed out anyway. In comes the handsome paramedics to the rescue; tells girl A she should be sent to the hospital. In a panic, she refuses. Can we say "no insurance", perhaps? So with all of this dialogue, the PD shows up, trying to figure out what was going on. Of course, cops asks questions, right? Their target was Boy A. Did he look or act suspicious? Did he have on the wrong clothes or perhaps looked a little shady? No one really knows, but the next thing anyone knew, he was spread eagled across the car with shiny new silver bracelets. WTF?!

Unfortunately, the group never made it to the final destination. The hospital was the gathering place and Girl A was going to be ok.

A Week in Review

2008-05-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

Who knew that I would attend not 1, not 2 but 3 concerts all in one week? Along with the typical things that I do, it was a great week.

Let's see in one week, I:
*Danced last Friday night at my favorite place
*Visited my friend's 2 week baby girl on Saturday. She's adorable and reminds me how sweet and cute they are, but I don't want another one.
*Danced again in South County feeding birthday cake to a beautiful guy. Nice!
*Attended Sunday's salsa workshop ith world renowned, Francisco Vasquez and then lunch in the LBC on 2nd street at a fabulous Middle Eastern restaurant with same beautiful guy.
*Cinco de Mayo dancing the light fantastic near the airport with Francisco Vasquez and my friends.
*Attended an amazing concert, the Pink Martini...loved it!!
*Drove to Montebello to see El Gran Combo de Puerto Rico performance. Amazing even though I ran into the "Lost Boy". We're going to be ok, I think. We need time.
*Saw the last concert on Saturday, Angel Lebron and his band.

And I worked a full time job on top of it all.

Wow.....I'm tired!

Hiatus

2008-04-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

I know; I took a small break from blogging. But I'll return shortly. Don't give up on me, yet!

...March is Almost Over!

2008-03-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

Where did the month go? Count down to St. Patrick's Day and it's gone. Celebrated the week like the proverbial "rock star". An amazing party at one of my favorite salsa club in the OC. Special thanks to my PARTNER IN CRIME for putting an amazing night together; and also to RZ for making it all happen. There were special "guest stars" from LA and the IE, which is a trek for a Tuesday night party. U guys rock!! Two more parties prevailed at Tapa's and Granada's where more surprises were in store and the week just kept rolling.

The actual day, well, I went to work, boo! But at 6 p.m. heading to Jimmy Bone's sang Irish tunes (Sunday, Bloody Sunday of course!) with my other PICs and Hec-toe too. Relished in my first experience with PCH Dogs, Wiernerschnitzel who? Ended the evening with more cocktails in the one of the finest oasis in the OC.

But less not forget, my new buddy, Nikole who celebrated having the same "luck of the Irish" birthday! She relayed that her parents did not name her after the saint, but instead came up with the unique spelling of her name due to a stop at KFC before the birth. Thanks to the drive up person who took her father's order, named Nikole! Alrighty then.

Off to San Francisco......

...Half a Day to St. Patty's Day

2008-03-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

The clock is ticking before my birthday. I'll start the day meeting my favorite man, Santa and end the day at Jimmy Bones in Orange with friends. C u there!

.....Some Tips

2008-03-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

One of my salseras send these tips to me.

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

..There Goes Brett

2008-03-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

I read the paper on March 5th stating that Brett Favre was retiring from the Green Bay Packers after 17 seasons. Cheeseheads everywhere are saddening by the news, I'm included. I started watching Brett and Reggie in the early 1990; memories of me driving to Coto de Caza at 9:30 a.m. to ensure we would be on time for kickoff promptly at 10 a.m. Then Missy was born and before she knew the color green exist, she laid on Craig's sofa sleeping with her GB cheerleader's outfit. He would watch her when Brett had the ball to see if Missy would have her arms outstretched over her head. If this occurred, it was surefire sign that Brett was taking the ball to the end zone. There was the turnaround trip to SF for an afternoon of 49ers gleaming over the narrow win over GP. Oh I can't forget the dive bar in Laguna Niguel; me in my 1st trimester, laying my head down on the bar for a second during the 2nd quarter and not awakening until the middle of the third. Yep, I heard screaming the whole time; those 9er fans were not going to win that game, but I was tired!

I gave up Brett and the Packers after the divorce, giving the "Former" the covenant "Cheesehead" and the "Packer Fan, yes I am" tshirt. It was only fair. But I'll never forget those years of rooting for the team. There was a beautifully written quote about Brett. He had “intuition, toughness and resilience” and those are the qualities I most admired about him and myself.

Farewell Brett....one of my heroes!

The Trek to Arizona

2008-03-08T23:48:00.000-08:00

I kept my promise for my New Year's resolution. My first trip in 2008 is to Phoenix, AZ. I planned the trip at the end of January, very excited to visit a college friend of mine that I hadn't seen in almost 2 years. Who knew it would be approximately 1 hr and 18 minute from the OC. You can barely get to Los Angeles in traffic in that time.

Breathtaking rock formations, crystal blue skies and luckily, cool & crisp weather. I visited Chandler today. The hotel San Marcos is beautiful, somewhere I would like to stay if the opportunity to visit occurs again. The city was scarce of people for the entire population seemed to have gathered at the annual ostrich festival. We did drive by the area for the festival, but it was too congested and I wasn't feeling the "carnival" feeling. Walking along the pathway,drinking a Java Chip latte, several ostriches made from mosaics, fur, rhinestones; limitless in creativity and materials, perched at store fronts.

An observation for reasons why people don't live in the Los Angeles area. I had mild congestion, thanks to the Santa Ana winds from earlier this week, feeling very nasally. Thanks to the desert air, I'm almost back to normal. Too bad I couldn't keep my original return flight for 3/26/8. I would be surely cured by then.

...Questions to Ponder

2008-03-03T21:08:00.000-08:00

If you're pondering a date with a beautiful male originally from New York with a bit of an edge to him, what questions would you ask? Here were some of mine:

1. What part of New York do you hail from?
2. What brought you to the Golden State?
3. Do you think there is a distinct difference between NY & LA?
4. Do you conceal a weapon?
5. Do you have any bullet holes?

Yes, all the questions were answered cleverly. I can't believe he let me get away with the last two, but that's how we roll. He enjoyed my devilish humor and didn't take offense. We'll see each other again!

..Yippy Countdown to St. Patty's Day

2008-03-03T21:01:00.000-08:00

Oh what will the day entail? Lots of folks will be heading to their favorite Irish pub/bar. I never knew how popular St. Patrick's Day was until I moved to Orange County. I knew it was my birthday and it didn't seem such a big deal in L A County. Lines poured out of O'Hara's and Kasey's in Orange my first year here. And as time went on, people would invited to their homes for a good cornbeef and cabbage meal, compliments to my birthday. For the record, I've not indulged in the meal, maybe this year.

As a salsera, I will be celebrating early, dancing at TJ's the week before. Who knows how many salsa clubs I'll hit between the 10th and the 17th. Anyone care to join me?

And One More Thing....

2008-03-03T20:48:00.000-08:00

So I thought I was free from the Sandwich Guy; never underestimate a desperate person. A familiar number appearred on the cell and I didn't think anything of it, until I heard the voice. "Um yes, who am I speaking to? said the voice. I was already annoyed; you're calling me and you don't the number you dialed. It took me a second, but I knew who it was.

The next 2 minutes were brief. He played like he didn't know it was my number he dialed; using some lame excuse. Quickly, he asked how I was doing as if we were buddies catching up on the week's events. I was not amused. He says, "I get the impression from our last conversation, you don't want to talk with me any longer". Yep, that would be correct, Sandwich boy. The call ended.

But he just couldn't let it go. Two hours later, a forwarded text message about making mistakes in life and learning from them. Basically a last ditch effort for me to reconsider. "WE HAVE A CONNECTION!!!" he included. And that's why the decision was made easily. He didn't get me or the situation. I think he tried to fit me in some mode he had in his mind. We didn't even make it to coffee for goodness sakes! Have a good life, Sandwich Guy!

...Out of the Mouths of Babes

2008-02-20T23:18:00.000-08:00

"Boys are for girls enjoyment", by Missy @ 11 yrs old.

V Day...Many Happy Returns!

2008-02-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

I thought I heard everything, but I was floored when this story was relayed to me. It’s Valentine’s Day, a woman gives her debit card to her boyfriend to purchase a gift for her. Uum, does he not have his own money? I digress. Apparently not or he’s just plain smart. He was at the store, attempting to make the purchase and was declined. The information was relayed to her but she didn’t want to know the amount or where her “beloved” was shopping.

One would hope that she received this impressive piece of jeweler, purchased at Zales and that she was wowed! We'll never know. But, honey get a clue. He's NOT WORTH IT!!!!

This tales reads all wrong! First she compromised her account. Secondly, she compromised herself. There’s not enough love in the world that should make someone this desperate. But there are endless stories of women looking for love in all the wrong places.

Sandwich Guy...Gone

2008-02-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

There's always a story but I spare you the details. Sandwich Guy....you're outta here! Delete!

BTW..thanks to my bouncer buddy @ Tapa's for lending an ear and giving solid advice!

Sandwich Guy

2008-02-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

I had the official phone call from "sandwich guy" this past weekend. Pleasant conversation and things seem to go well. But on Monday, I received 2 text messages around 6 a.m.; wtf! But to aggraviate the situation, I received 3 phone calls between 9-10 a.m. I actually answered one not knowing about the 1st call. We chatted for a moment, which was ok. But I was perplexed receiving another call 20 minutes later; I didn't answer!

Is "sandwich guy" socialy inept or a potential stalker? Friends are leaning towards the latter since the guy hasn't asked me out yet. T says to give him til this weekend and if nothing, consider him out the door. Tick tock!

...Aargh Countdown to V day

2008-02-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

Only a few hours before the most nauseating day of the year occurs. I'm trying hard not to be a hater! Some acquaintances are having an "anti V day party" but I can't imagine how that going to be. Luckily I wasn't invited.

Cheer up ol' gal. I have a date with a girlfriend and we'll be dancing the light fantastic. Now that I think of it, I received "xoxoxo" text from a couple letting me they are thinking of me and I'm their valentine. And there's Missy too. Hhmm, maybe the day won't be so bad after all.

I just can't wait for St. Patrick's Day!!!!

...Say What?

2008-02-13T18:37:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder why people tell you things that you may not want to hear? I’ve been questioning this phenomenon lately, since it happens to me often. Many would say that it’s because you have a kind face, a sympathetic ear and appear trustworthy. This may all be true, but with those credentials, does it warrant for others to share their dark tales and deep secrets to virtual strangers? Is there safety within anonymity? Baring their soul(s), as the confidante, are you a friend now?

Imagine my shock, while sitting with an acquaintance during a barbecue, he announces that he has one testicle. The conversation did not warrant bearing one’s soul but he felt the need, as he says, to be “honest and wanted me to get to know him better”. Uum, ok. Or how about during phone call with a colleague today, she blurts out the night before random meeting of an old boyfriend she hadn’t seen in 20 years. She share details that I didn't want to particularly want to hear.

The stories vary from the ridiculous to scary, but each participant tells it with such passion. I often look around my neck to see if I have a collar (sainthood should be just around the corner). I ask friends do they experience this kind bizarre storytelling. Each one shakes their heads, giggling...knowing that I'm the rare exception. Well, at least I have stories to share, names withheld to protect the innocent!

...Risk Adverse

2008-02-08T00:22:00.001-08:00

Can you find love if your adverse to change?

I've observed a woman who has never been married but wants to have a successful long term relationship. Admittedly, she doesn't like to date and her laundry list of do's/don't for the ideal mate, in a word, is immense. Self described as very anal retentive, she can't really have roommates. By the way, she is resistant to change.

So I wonder as she is heading towards 40, with the limitations/expections set, can she find true love? If love is an everchanging dynamic and "working" relationships sway moment by moment, how does one propose to give and receive? If you dislike dating, the method in which one enjoys interviewing various prospect mates, how do get to the next level?

I guess I just answered the question. True love and the commitment of relationship(s) will elude you every time because it is all about "change". Relationships descend into the abyss because one of the partners is not moving at the same pace as the other. Maybe that's why this woman is perpetually sad, knowing that she'll what she is looking for will never come to be. She is standing in the way of her self.

Dippity..Dah

2008-02-07T23:24:00.000-08:00

"How about lunch at our local sandwich shop around 2:30?" was the message I received from Bing. I was not prepared for the extraordinary circumstances of that lunch. Five unrelated people, in one location, connected, all because of a quarter dropping to the ground at said shop. This action led to meeting a man, discussing sandwiches, who in turn, took his back to his work, causing another to arrive shortly afterwards to order one for himself. Admittedly, Philly Steak guy had never been to this shop, but the sheer coincidence of meeting Bing & I was strange. Even more so for us as I realized he was sent by the quarter dropping man. The timing of the events were so uncanny that I couldn't believe it was occurring. Eventually, it led to phone number exchanging because the 2nd meeting was so surreal!

Oh Bing, I'm so glad you were there for the most surreal "Twilight Zone" episode. The exchange of looks between us, classic. I can never tell the story the way it unveiled, but it will remain in my memory as an "a-ha" moment. I'm not consciously aware of having such a serendipious moment like this before. Opportunities and possibilities.....

Icky Ick

2008-02-06T02:21:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that I hate being sick? Two days of being comtose and now crazy insomnia. But I have my favorite crime dramas with me tonight. "Without a Trace", "Law & Order: Criminial Intent" & "SVU". I'm hooked! Between those shows and "Miami Vice", I may not sleep for days. I guess if the powers that be would put "Mannix" on Dvd, I would be estatic!

2:25 a.m. and counting. Zzzzz!

It's a P Thang...

2008-02-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

Prince is one of my favorite artists and when I heard the lyrics to this song moons ago, I didn't know that it would resonant in me at this moment. "It's been 7 hours and 15 days, since you took your love away." Well, it's been a bit longer than that, but you get the message. It's still questionable about how I feel about "lost boy", I guess that's what this period has been all about, getting to the bottom of things. Many have said, I'll look back with mostly good memories, only time will tell.

To all of you who've supported me through the good and lean moments, we have officially put this baby to bed. So on the advice of a good "peep" in the LBC, the final moments have been made. A great moment of love and laughter last week and the deletion of a phone number tonight!

To counterbalance, I thought about listening to Dr. Dre, hell yea, uumm maybe not. I'm supposed to be getting in touch with my feminine side. So to be hopeful, my Ipod led me to Sammie & Van Halen's "When It's Love". "How do I know when it's love? I can't tell you but its last forever." A bit optimistic, but I guess I can buy into tonight. Heck it's Sammie!

Ode to a Peanut Redux

2008-02-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

The next day, I returned to the 4th step only to find that the "li'l buddy" had mysteriously disappeared. Fascinating!

I learned later, that others had witnessed the "peanut event" and wondered, as I what would happen. However, only 2 of us had witnessed the split, the main and the "li'l buddy". We'll never know exactly what happened, but it touched other lives just as it did mine.

A moment of silence for the "li'l buddy"........

Ickness

2008-02-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

I'm usually really careful about washing my hands especially after nights of dancing. I've been alluding the flu for months, but if finally got me. Which one of those handsome salsa gents didn't stay home and has stricken me and possibly others to body aches and pains? Curses to you! That means I'm out of commission for the next couple of days. Sadness, but I'll be back with a vengeance.

Maven

2008-01-30T09:06:00.000-08:00

"A person who has special knowledge or experience, expert".

The American Heritage Dictionary

Oh My..She Has A Blog Too...

2008-01-29T20:52:00.000-08:00

Well shut my mouth, Missy created her own blog. Right on sister! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...she's a pretty good writer. I look forward to reading the adventures of a "tween".

Ode to a Peanut

2008-01-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

It had been two weeks since I noticed the lone peanut sitting on the 4th step in the stairway at work. Nestled closely to the fold of the step, safely guarded from footprints and vacuums, it laid in wait. The first 10 days or so, the half was in tack, but one day, a small piece broke away, gaining its independence. Did they know they were separated? Did they miss one another or did they have a new found respect for each other? Each day afterwards, the two slowly distanced themselves from each. Amazingly, no one had crushed either piece. How long will they survive this existence?

As I approached the stairs, today, I was saddened not to see the "main" lone peanut. Had someone finally pick it up? Was it sucked into the nozzle of some vacuum and now circulating in an oblivion of dust, lint and gunk? There was no trace that it had succumb to any harm. Will the peanut be happier in its new home and did it miss the other peanuts from which it was separated from as well as its "li'l buddy"? Importantly, what will happen to the smaller of the two, that continues to lay on the step, boldy and bravely? A moment of silence....

Questions that we will never have answers. Tomorrow if the "li'l buddy" is there I will give it a new home. One day of separation in its current location is enough for it (or me) to bare.

I will miss the peanut; the joy it gave me each day being a part of its world.

HH Dancing

2008-01-27T22:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I've returned from the 13th annual Hip Hop Dance competition; it was in a word amazing! Four years ago, no way would I have witnessed the beauty of so many dances had it not been for salsa. Introduced to people I never would have met otherwise, I've been exposed to various performances in Tango, Swing, Folklorico, Flamenco, Ballet, Tap and Salsa. Different dances but one common thread. People, music and the message. Dancing is one of the few things remaining in this world that remains pure! A world where one communicates thoughts and emotions without uttering a single word; the ultimate in self expression.

You can spot a dancer anywhere. They have a song in their heart and mind, not wallking but gliding with a 1,2,3 count. Rarely do they sit in their seats still and generally fingers are tapping rhythemically (da da dah dah da). And quite possibly, they're are choregraphing a sequence in their minds. If a group are together, more than likely they will break out and dance regardless where they are. Tonight, I certify, I am a dancer and darn proud of it!

Smiling tonight, I was more than thrilled to watch hip hoppers showcasing their talents. Of course, I had my favorites but they were all outstanding! Thank you Toy Box for extending the invite. And to those who've shared your passion of the dance with me, a hearty thanks to you also! Nuestro mundo, una canción y un baile!

Mystery and Matador

2008-01-27T14:17:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting on the phone with my good friend, let's call him "Mystery" and I "Matador". We actually laugh about our code names because we "borrowed" them from the VH-1 reality show. You see, Mystery was the host of the show and Matador is his "wingman" teaching the "underdogs" how to be the ultimate "Pickup Artist".

Mystery and I go salsa dancing quite a bit together and try not to "c-block" each other, a very delicate balance. Yes, we do really dance, but every so often, one of us becomes the pickup artist and the other the wingman. Interesting enough, he's been very successful with the "game" having a female as a wingman than a guy. Yeah, I'm just that cool!

But now we're chatting about the Chino Hills reception, it was his family's event. The question, which one of us will remarry first? I say, Mystery, you'll be saying "I do". Although we're both the quinessential commitment phobes, women look at Mystery and think, "how can I make him mine?" He doesn't know that I'm privy to conversations among women checking him out when we're out on the town. It'll be a matter of time before one of the "targets" snags you, Mystery and then I guess, I'll be your "best lady" handing you the ring. Wow, think about the bachelor party. Ah, yeah, the Love Jones is calling ya, mi hermano!

In the meantime, we'll be our goofy selves, dancing and pondering the meaning of life.

Baile!

Loverman, Where Can U Be?

2008-01-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

In the pouring rain, last night, I travelled to Chino Hills to a wedding reception. It was a family friend, so I knew there would be merriment, comfort and joy. Music and sweet aromatic smells of the Latin world; hugs and kisses with my extended loved ones filled the air. Salsa dancing took place immediately con mis hermanos. Viva bailar!

Almost immediately, I met him,"loverman". The onyx and platinum band circled the left finger like a badge of honor; he wore it well. Did he think I didn't notice? Smiling politely, I danced our one song, but he had something else on his mind. A barrage of questions fired at me to "get to know" quickly as he held me close, breathing in my perfume. The song could not have ended fast enough. Hey, bubba, thanks but no thanks! Uumm, isn't your wife standing in the corner waiting to dance with you next?

Loverman was transfixed on his prey. It does not matter how many times/ways you say no, he has to have you. The pursuit relentless; the rejection heightens the game. I had to cut the evening short, loverman wasn't giving up and the wife's eye was spying. Cold cocking a guy at a reception, so not chic!

Driving the 91 Fwy, thinking, this is something I'll never understand or get use to. It's peculiar because it just occurred with another "loverman" a few days prior. EZE said he was inspired by my fishnet stockings...he's been thinking about me for a long time; could we meet to "know more about each other?" Steady EZE, how would you Mrs. EZE feel about this liaison? "Ah, why do you have to bring her up", he says.

I've asked why does this behavior exist and why is it happening to me fast and furious? Am I wearing a sign around my neck, "Vivacious single seeking lovers of committed nature...husbands and boyfriends apply here". It's been said that lovermen has everything to gain and nothing to lose. If the lucky woman says yes, bonus, but if she smacks him in the face, no harm no foul. As EWF sings, "that's the way of the world", but it perplexes me and I don't want to accept that answer. Don't they know, I lost my spouse to a "lovergal" so I'm not buying the arrangement. But I guess as long as "interested parties" continue to play, all's fair.

Mental Feng Shui

2008-01-27T11:03:00.000-08:00

We all get circulated reading(s) via email daily. Sometimes one catches my eye like this one, it's nice words to live by. Thanks, K Nunez for sending this one to me. As the reading suggested, I did pass it on to others so not to have bad luck!

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversatial skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
4. When you say "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who have dreams, don't have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involves great risk.
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17. Remember the 3 Rs: Respect for self. Respect for others; and Responsibility for your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice
21. Spend some time alone.

Author Unknown

Everytime I Turn Around...

2008-01-23T20:40:00.000-08:00

I was enjoying my drive home, thinking about all the things I wanted to do. The last person I wanted to see at my casa was him...Spock! We've been apart for over 4 years and I remember those last few years of our marriage when I could count on one hand how many times he was at home.I believe he was with her. But now, it seems every time I turn around (sing Jeffrey Osborne), the man is "hangin' and chillin' at my crib! Sure, it's always under the umbrella, that he's helping Missy with something, but does it take hours to do it?

Believe me, I have had cordial conversations in the past about not spending time here. It's simply inappropriate! He smiles and gives some excuse why it occurred "this time". Hey, buddy...this isn't your home!"

Friends have told me, Spock simply is comfortable here. How can that be; we didn't share this home together. Ah you see, part of it is reminscient of the past or that he just hasn't let go of "us" completely; and he never will! He may not have liked the marriage, but he enjoyed the benefits and enjoys the fruit of my new labor.

I am amused and frustrated by the whole affair considering he can do this but can not tell me, thusfar, that he's marrying this summer. Comfort and joy mixed with suspicious behavior. It really is all too much! So the question is, will the "extended visits" continue or will the "new found religion" called the envious new wife will put a stop to it? I suspect she doesn't know now and she won't in the future. Maybe I'll hang out at his house now!

Missy

2008-01-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

Missy and I were watching the first episode of season 7 "American Idol". This is my 2nd season; I didn't buy into the series at first. Two hours of hopefuls, wishing on a dream. Many didn't have talent but exuded tons of confidence. And then, this one young 16 year old, a line backer courageously had her turn. She carried a lot of responsibility, her mother was ill; her hopes was to move forward in the competition for her mother! The young woman had a lot of heart, but she didn't have what it takes in the "music world". You felt sad for her but you knew there was another purpose in her life.

I looked @ Missy, tears streaming down her little face. At her tender age, she understood this young woman, all in 2.5 minutes. Missy was caught in the moment, she no longer could eat her cheese. I explained to her that we should feel good; this young woman battle the odds and made it into the doors and stood in front of the Power of 3. Sometimes it more important to take the chance, then winning. (Yes, I'm hearing my own message). Wow, the power of children, we taught each other a lesson. Missy has a kind soul; I see the making of a beautiful young woman emerging!

Teacher, Teacher

2008-01-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

Spoke with my Santa today and discussed where will my career path lead me? He observed, "you are a resource to others; they gain information and convey thoughts/ideas with you." Have you thought of teaching as a profession? The thought of six year olds, singing "teacher, teacher" as the pull on my clothes flash through my mind. Or better yet, a classroom full of teenagers, chilling, watching the clock drag; so not paying attention to the subject at hand.

Actually, I've tolled with the thought for awhile, realizing I want an environment where people want to learn, explore and exchange ideas. The college/university setting would be the ideal place. And not long ago, I researched teaching English as a second language. He mentioned reading an article about US companies abroad with their own private schools needing teachers. Ah, an opportunity to share and travel at the same time, what a concept! Also, I come from a long line of teachers/professors on my father's side of the family. It's not a bad gig.

What holds me back? Laziness and the fear of being in debt are on the list. I've not studied in quite a while, unless you count learning salsa dancing and the 6 week "Quick Spanish" course I took a few years ago. Te gusta bailar? Si! Sheer panic, yikes! I can give numerous reasons, but it's only me stopping this quest.

So the wheels are squeaking in my mind....move, move, move (I think in 3s) forward and don't look back! It's exciting to think about it. We all can think of a teacher that inspired us, made learning exciting. Hmm, I can do that!

The Break versus The Breakup

2008-01-14T21:03:00.000-08:00

So, I went to Jamba Juice this morning, as I do every morning, and was met by the smiling manager, T. As I handed him my payment, he asked how my weekend was; I answered accordingly. His next question, "Are you ready for V-day?" My face dropped..."V-day"? Yes, he said, "what is your fella doing for you for Valentine's Day?" Ick, a Hallmark holiday! I had to tell him that the fella & I are currently on a "break". I wasn't prepared for the next few minutes of dialogue.

"A BREAK", he belted out; thank goodness there were no other customers in the joint. He continued, "What is this thing called a BREAK? and why is it different than a BREAK-UP?!" He proceeded to share that his staff at another location continually speak of the first condition, but not the second. It perplexed him and he thought I could shed light on the subject. Silly him.

I shared, quietly I might add, that I too, had no concept of the difference. When I first heard the news of a break from my "significant other", I took it as a break-up. I mourned the relationship, labored over the good versus the bad, put away pictures, cried on friends' shoulders, listened to sad songs while feeling like crap! But then I learned a few weeks later that the mourning was not necessary. We didn't break-up, he was "asking for time to think about things. It has nothing to do with you". There were other components that were outlined in the discussion, but I should not think of this current situation as a "break-up". Umm, I still consider it a break-up.

Manager T bursted into a hearty laugh and fired another question. "If either one of you hook up with someone else, is it considered cheating?" My politically correct answer, it depends on what the agreement is between the two parties. Manager T was not buying any of it. "It's all the same. The person calling the break is a chicken, wanting their cake and eating it too". Valid point, I thought. I left with smoothie in hand, pondering the question for the rest of the day.

Since I'm fortunate enough to experience a "break" and a "break-up", I can tell you emotionally it feels exactly the same. So many people today are faced with this conditon. The "breakee" questions: What went wrong? What did I do? How can I fix it? etc., all the while feeling hurt, empty and very foolish. By the way, you may not get an answer! I guess the main difference is that the "break" gives the parties a glimmer of hope that the relationship may resume in the future, especially, if it suavely presented. It's call denial. But a "break-up" is final. Here's your walking papers, sucker, now go and don't let the love door hit you on the way out. Ouch! However, the result is the same, someone is shattered, left putting pieces of one's life back together.

Maybe the "breaker" doesn't want to hurt the feelings of the "breakee". The "breaker" may think if they slowly push the other person away, maybe they'll get the hint and quietly disappear. That way the "breaker" then is not the proverbial bad guy/gal. So when asked, "where is your significant other", the "breaker" can answer with confidence and less guilt, "oh it just didn't work out." No dramatic stories to tell.

Possibly, it's a matter not really knowing one's self or what you want. So many people can't make the distinction between simple things in their life, let alone, the complexity of a relationship. What, you want me to make a decision about something? They want choices in this disposable society we live. I like to think, these unfortunate souls' heart and mind are not connected. They do not know themselves, so a healthy relationship will not work for them. It will elude them, therefore, they'll have to put their love interest on hold to find some cosmic solution . Some would say they needs to find themselves. The break implies, "hey,this is great, but can I maybe get back to you?"

I can continue to speculate and never get to the bottom of the question. All I can say that either condition is painful. Is it better to think things are going to get better between the two parties or do you cut and run? The latter, I suspect, as both conditions indicate that you should do just that. Run, Logan, run!! It's still OVER!! There are the optimists who say, a break can lead to something great. Possible, but how long do you have to wait? Miracles can happen, I guess.

So to the "breakees", Bono sings it best in the song Bad, "Let it go. This desperation, dislocation, separation, condemnation, revelation, in temptation, isolation, desolation. Let it go!" Please, don't get caught in their drama; hold your head up high and face the inevitable, it's a break-up. If you have the opportunity, like I did, kiss him/her tenderly while closing the door gently. And by all means, have a smoothie afterwards!!

The Challenge Question

2008-01-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

A girlfriend challenged me to name one thing that you like about myself. I giggled with embarrassment because even if you have an answer, would you tell anyone without sounding vain! To ease the pain, she suggested it could be a physical or personality attribute. Um ok! This exercise I should state was given so I can start thinking more about myself than about others. Mothers out there, beware, this is a trap one easily falls into.

One could say, my smile, but that would be an obvious choice and frankly quite boring. Another is perseverance suggested by my dear aunt, the Great Dane. Ah, the "persistent determination to adhere to a course of action", according to Wikipedia is a dead ringer for my personality. But I'm going to go with my "naivete". Those who know me well would say that if you catch me in the right moment, you'll be surprised when I show it, albeit the strong, confident persona that I give. Maybe it a sign of weakness, but I feel more human when moments erupt showing my lack of experience or I am simply guillible. It's the part of myself that I want to open up more, I guess that would evolve into being vulnerable. But I like feeling this way, not have my guard up so much and be "real"!

The Lost Boys

2008-01-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

I had the most pleasant converstion yesterday with a former colleague of mine. We met 10 years ago, working together in Santa Ana. At the time he was working full time and studying to obtain his teaching credential to teach high school math. With perseverance, dedication and a lot of hard work, he is 3 weeks away from completing his student teacher & will begin looking for a full time teaching position. I admire him because he did this while getting married, having 2 children and maintaining a positive relationship with his spouse and his friends. While listening, he conveyed with enthusiasm his process, although trying at times, it was rewarding and he would not have changed a thing. He attributed his success mostly to his wife, who stood by him, even when things seemed neverending.

Refreshing to see that there are men in their late 30s who are committed to what life has to offer. In the past few years, I've witnessed a few "gentlemen" who "poo-poo" the concept of being a "well-adjusted" adult. I like to call it the "Peter Pan Syndrome", the lost boys content on living in Neverland. For them, each day passes without responsibility, no thoughts for the future or the past; just the here and now. Sure, they have jobs, friends, even relationships, but within that scope, they live for themselves in the present! Warning to those who become involve in their world; for you see you really are not. The lost boys don't really share their secret society with those unsuspected souls. For you see, they can exist for a small period time in our world, but they at some point go back to frolick in their land of unreasonable bliss.

I discussed this subject with my colleague, he too has seen an influx of this type of behaviour among his male friends in recent years. Perplexed glances exchanged between us and the bubble appeared over both our heads. Why is it? Maybe they had to grown up too fast for various reasons and now as they approach 40, they want to recapture their youth. Isn't that what Holden Caulfield wanted in the "Catcher in the Rye"? Wait, he was a youth, so it might work for him. I digress. Is it some sort of pre-mid life crisis? We did not have any reasons to satisfy the question. We just know one too many of these "lads" and wonder where will their lives be in the future. Oh yeah, they are not thinking about the future.

As the colleague and I parted ways, I smiled knowing, that he was not a "lost boy" and that whatever he chooses to do next...there will be a future for him! I appreciate he sharing his time and thoughts. I now believe again!

Welcome 2008!

2008-01-05T11:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 2008! What will this year be for all of us? Of course, dancing will be part of my life. Spending time with love ones will also be on the docket. The traveling bug has me to, so San Francisco will be my first trip for 2008. It's possible Baja Calif will call my name too in April, dancing on the high seas? Maybe I'll throw a dart on the map and see what will be a destination for summer '08.

Maybe I'll do some home improvements since I haven't done anything to "la casa" since I've been there almost 4 years. Will my Martha Stewart buddy join me in the fun?

Is a new career path in my future? Only time will tell, but that's the cool thing about starting over every year...it's call possibilities!

2006-05-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all